Here I Am

My most Beloved,

When you call and hear no answer 
There I am
When you do not know what to do, think, say or feel
There I am
When you have nowhere left to turn, no more roads left to take
There I am.
As you walk to the very edge of the cliff and take the next step There I am.
When you fall, you need not ask if I will catch you, as I may not but if you fall, I fall with you 
There too, I am
As the arrows of hatred, defeat and horror plunge into your soul, There I am
As the rock is placed over your tomb where your body decays, There I am.
If the fires of suffering torment you day and night, finding no rest available
There I am.
If darkness is all around and darkness is all you seem to be There I am
If your mind collapses into insanity more than beasts of the wilderness
There I am
As your body is ate away by maggots, your eyes disintegrate in their sockets
There I am
When I am nowhere to be found, when you know I am not there, no one is there, your soul itself dissolves into nothingness…
There - cast out in the utter darkness
There - in the land of hungry ghosts
There - in the despair and desolation
        Yes, there, there, there,
              Right here I am.

When I tell you I will never leave you or forsake you, I do not lie. Now I tell you, though you may experience complete absence,  Absence itself I am.

Right where you are. Here, here I am,
Always we shall be, never could it be otherwise.

     Your Boundless Lover

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